I’m so sorry to report this but A) it’s only Wednesday and B) Benedict Cumberbatch is engaged. After a suspiciously casual engagement announcement in The Times of London, which spoke of a “Mr. B.T. Cumberbatch and Miss S.I. Hunter,” it’s confirmed that the “Sherlock” actor is marrying his girlfriend of some unknown amount of time. There has to be something shady going on between these beautiful, rich famous people falling in love. Right?!?! You can be damn sure the Cumberbitches, who have already nicknamed her “Sophie Hunt-her”, will find whatever it is…because there has to be a problem here.

Cumberbatch Hunter Engagement announcement

Here’s what we do know about Sophie: the 36-year-old Londoner attended Oxford, won the prestigious Samuel Beckett award in 2007 for a play she wrote and directed, and co-founded a theatre company. Suspicious! She’s also appeared on camera: in 2004’s “Vanity Fair” alongside Reese Witherspoon and with Benedict in “Burlesque Fairytales” in 2009. Hunter and Cumberbatch went public with their relationship at the French Open this summer. They seem to be suspiciously standing a foot apart the whole time?! I’m no body language expert but…Just kidding. I wish the future Mrs. Cumberbatch all the best, kind of. Feel free to console yourself with this Vine from their film Burlesque Fairytales.