The “Real Housewives of New York” is enjoying a boost in viewership thanks to Bethenny Frankel. After three seasons away from the show, the SkinnyGirl founder, talk show host, and author has flown back to the bedazzled “RHONY” nest. Her bittersweet line in the quintessential “Housewives” opening montage describes the Bethenny of 2015: “I’m not a housewife, but I am real.”
Keep that line in mind when reading her new book, I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To. Frankel is fearless onscreen; offscreen, she’s a single mother who lives and dates in New York City. Bethenny told me she feels “oddly comfortable” with what she describes as a “bizarre decision” to return to the show. That’s exactly the type of candor I appreciate in dating advice.
Bethenny spoke to YouBeauty to share her tips on love and career, dating with kids, and what to eat on a first date. Here’s to not sucking:
Being “too busy with work” isn’t an excuse to skip out on love:
“Every woman wants to say that career gets in the way. I actually think it’s great because I get to be sociaI. I get to talk to men a lot, go to interesting places, travel, be in hotel bars, restaurants. I think it’s great. If you’re a mother and you spend all your free time with your daughter as quality time and then all the rest of the time is work, I guess that could be challenging, but then it really lays out the type of the person you want to be in a relationship with. It also sets a pace.”
There’s no need to clear your schedule for a man.
“[Work can] set a pace. You don’t want to be a girl who suggests that you’d be available all the time for a man, anyway. So being, having a career and having a child is a great way to weed people out. I’m busy. Men like a woman who has her own life. Many women don’t have their own life.”
Men like kids, career, and confidence – just like us.
“It’s like the lotto: you gotta be in it to win it. You can’t just be sitting home. The number one most attractive quality is confidence. I think men are attracted to that. I think having kids is attractive to men. They don’t think you’re meeting them and staring at the clock going, ‘I need to marry this person so he can get me pregnant’ because a lot of women are like that and a lot of men are afraid of that.”
Dating is more serious with a child, but it shouldn’t hinder your chances.
“I don’t think dating with children has to have its own special attention. I think that there’s a certain time you should wait to introduce someone but that’s common sense. It really weeds out not serious people. If someone is some moron who only wants to be with their friends and party and not want any responsibility in their life, then they might not want to date somebody who has a child. If someone respects their own family and likes the idea of doing fun family activities and what it means, then they would probably like that you have a child. So it’s actually great. It weeds out the pool.”
Share food with your date.
“Share a few things, it’s a natural interaction with your date. Something to talk about. If you each order your own thing it’s very isolated and you’re not being social about it.”
If you’ve never seen Bethenny in action, we’re only one episode in to RHONY. The SkinnyGirl has already referred to herself as a homeless person and possibly agreed to be a surrogate for another Bravo-lebrity, so the time to catch up is now. Bethenny agrees that the new season of RHONY is “intense” – but there’s still plenty of housewives humor to come.