Some people are born natural flirts. Others might need a bit of help with it. I fall into the latter classification, especially since I have a bucket of social anxiety I carry with me everywhere. There’s a fine line between being a subtle flirt and spilling over with enthusiasm that can classify you as someone selling a dance in the champagne room.
I want to clarify that flirting can be done anywhere, not just at a singles bar scene. Don’t confuse random come-ons as a flirty scene though. If you’re walking down the street and a guy says he wants to worship your body, that’s going to catch a flirt or non-flirt off-guard.
Let’s go over a few rules that are likely to take you a step closer to going home with a number.
Make eye contact.
Caught someone’s eye? Hold the gaze for a second and look away. Look around the room and go back to catch their eye. Do it once more to seal the deal and communicate your interest. Don’t stare! There’s no need to study every bit of their presence.
Be yourself and keep things light.
Don’t pretend to be someone else. You might be nervous, but keep things cool and be yourself. If he’s into an activity you’re not, there’s no need to act excited about it. Express interest and steer the conversation in a direction you might know more about. Don’t pretend you love whitewater rafting as a hobby when you’ve only done it once in your life.
A light touch is your friend.
Lightly graze shoulders or hands as you’re talking. Or a light tap on the upper arm as you’re laughing. Don’t do anything inappropriate! It’s just a slight graze.
Be yourself and don’t be afraid to open up a little bit. While you don’t need to dismantle a wall entirely, let them peek over and see who you are as a person. It allows them also to express their vulnerability.
Unless you’re looking for a quick hook-up, there’s no need to rush things. If you’re interested in a relationship, take it step by step and don’t rush into getting to second base on the first date.