Everyone’s relationships go through a large hurdle at some point in their lifecycle. No matter how strong a relationship might be, there are bound to be some problems, whether that’s getting stuck in a rut or fighting about the little things constantly. Unless the relationship is harmful or toxic to you, there are steps you can take to make it a little bit stronger and get past the struggles.
If the relationship is harmful to you in any way, whether that’s physically or mentally, love isn’t enough to save it. You need to walk away if you don’t feel reciprocal love, willingness to improve the relationship and grow together, and if you feel your partner doesn’t value your core values.
As long as the foundation is there, however, you may be able to revive a relationship that’s struggling with the following tips.
1. Love yourself
In order to fully show up to your relationship, you need to love yourself and your life first. You won’t be able to approach your partner with curiosity and love if you’re unsatisfied with yourself. So, take the time for yourself to work on your own needs first.
2. Show gratitude
Yes, your partner might grate on you when they throw their dirty towel on the bathroom floor and leave it there, but they might also be trying to improve and help you out continually. Express gratitude when they learn to make you a perfect cup of coffee in the morning, wash the dishes after a meal, or take out the trash. They’ll learn to pick up that towel eventually.
3. Fight fair
Fighting is normal and healthy in a relationship. Never resort to name calling, belittling or making your partner feel lesser than. You need to keep in mind this is the person you love and who loves you. Keep fights healthy by explaining why certain things don’t work for you or why you’re upset and listening to them in turn. Learn how to pick your battles also!
4. Make your time intentional
Whether it’s catchup up on the latest episode of your favorite show or cooking dinner together, make the time you spend together intentional where you focus on each other. Don’t take your time together for granted.
5. Consider couples therapy
Things don’t have to be broken in order to have a great therapist work through communication and relationship issues with you. This maintenance work builds a stronger foundation in the long term.