Picture this: You’re on a first date with someone, and the night is soon heading to a close. All those initial first date jitters have simmered down a bit, and you’re finally starting to let your guard down. You’re on the way home and all of a sudden, it hits you: wait, are we going to kiss?!

Kissing on a first date is a struggle for just about everyone. It’s one of those things that no one knows what to do about, and almost everyone feels nervous about. Some people prefer to kiss on a first date, while others want to wait for a later date. The tough thing about a first date is that you often have no clue what the other person is thinking.

You could be feeling the date is going fantastic and the other person could be thinking the complete opposite, or vice versa. So how do you know whether or not to go for a kiss at the end of the night? It’s a question we probably will never have an answer for.

First dates are tough because although you probably just sat and got to know the person, you still don’t know them. Some people prefer to kiss and even have sex on a first date if physical chemistry is essential to them. Some people want to wait until they establish a relationship and their feelings before doing anything intimate. And unfortunately, neither one of those topics will probably come up on a first date.

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So, what do you do? Honestly, the answer is up to you. It’s essential to go off of how the date is going. If you feel like there’s evident chemistry between you and your date and at the end of the night, you sense a kiss coming, go for it. If it’s obvious the date is going not going well and a kiss doesn’t seem likely, then stray away from it.

And if you don’t want to kiss but you feel like your date might want to, try to avoid a situation where the other person might try to sneak a peck. If they go for it and you’re not feeling it, politely say you’re not interested. It’s important that whatever goes on between you and your date is consensual, so it’s essential to be honest and clear about how you feel. Regardless, usually the vibe of a date is pretty evident, so go based off of that and see where the night takes you.