If you’re a woman just not that into sex, you’re not alone

We’re all reasonably familiar with women foregoing orgasms or simply not reaching them because sex never fully gets them there. But what if you’re just not motivated to achieve that orgasm in the first place? What if you’d rather read a book or catch up on an episode of your favorite show than have sex?

You’re not alone. A lot of women are wondering why they’re not in the mood that much and whether that’s normal. The short answer, yes. There’s nothing wrong with you for not wanting sex as much as media makes you think you should wish to. Whatever does not cause you distress and whatever you function well with is reasonable.

But how about if you’re looking to up your desire? There could be a few explanations for the latent desire.

1. Consider the medication you’re taking

If you’re taking a certain medication for a chronic condition, your decreased libido might be a side effect. Do you remember if you had a different level of desire before starting the meds?

SSRIs are a prime example of a type of medication that negatively affects sex drives. A different kind of medication that might mess with your drive is a hormonal contraceptive. Anything that alters your hormones is grounds for an examination as that directly affects the female sex drive.

2. Girl, you’re stressed

Stress is no joke. If you have a lot on your mind, sex might be the least of your priorities. It’s hard enough as it is to be present in the current world, so if you have the added pressure of stress at work, with your health or in a relationship, it’s going to manifest as a lower desire.

If this is a temporary situation, ride through the waves, and work on your stress best you can. If your stress is chronic, you should be addressing the issue first before you try to figure out what your libido is.

3. It might just be your hormones

Did you know that testosterone controls the female libido? A low level of the hormone typically disrupts natural desire. Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is a hormone responsible for making testosterone, and women taking DHEA supplements found their love life drastically altered. The libido and sexual drives increased when the women took the supplement. Speak to your doctor about the possibility of a hormone supplement.

4. You might be bored or feel emotionally unsafe

If you’re in a relationship with a partner and still feel the desire to masturbate but don’t want to have sex as often, you might be experiencing emotional vulnerability mismatching. It could be that you feel pressured to have sex a certain way or put on a performance for the sake of your partner. Or you might be scared of telling them exactly what satisfies you.

Along the same vein, you might not be stimulated enough in your sex life. It might’ve merely become boring. This is your cue to try different things and see whether it sparks a different reaction from you.

5. It might just not be a priority

Women’s priorities have shifted over the years. We are more involved in the workforce and global affairs. As a result, there’s less time for thinking of sexy outfits to buy or how to fill empty pockets of time. If it’s simply not a priority for you, then you’re not alone. Remember, if it’s not a problem and doesn’t cause you distress, then you’re healthy in your desires.