Having an affair doesn’t necessarily just mean being physically intimate with someone. Having an affair can mean being emotionally intimate with someone, too. And frequently, an emotional affair happens without you even realizing it. Maybe you find yourself talking to that person more than your significant other. Or perhaps you find yourself going to text them in a time of need. Having an emotional affair can be different for everyone, but if you think you might be going down that path, here are some signs:

You’re always thinking about them
At the beginning of a relationship, you’re going to be thinking of that person nonstop. As the relationship progresses, those thoughts will probably slow down, but they’re still going to be on your mind. But when you find yourself always thinking of someone else… well, that’s when you might be more emotionally invested in someone else.

You frequently talk when you’re not together
Constantly texting this other person, especially when you’re with your significant other, is definitely a sign you might be having an emotional affair. And when your face lights up when their name pops up on your phone… you should probably reassess your relationship.

You talk to them about your own relationship
If they are the first person you go to when you’re having problems in your relationship, it means you trust their input. And that also means what they say has a significant impact on you. Confiding in that other person about your relationship is a telltale sign that you might be having an emotional affair.

You compare them to your current partner
When you start to get upset with your partner because it’s different from what they would do, that’s a sign you’re starting to get emotionally invested in this other person. Comparing anyone to your partner is only going to lead to more confusion.

They are the first person you talk to about important things
If you finally get that big promotion you’ve been waiting for and the first person you reach to call isn’t your partner, it means you care more about what this person has to say.

You believe they understand you better than your partner
When you’re with this person and feel like they really get you, even better than your partner, that’s a sign you might be having an emotional affair. Your partner should be someone who understands you more than most people.