When we’re on the other side of clinginess and feel like our partner is too controlling or insecure, it can be an unpleasant experience that makes us feel suffocated and even resentful. While it’s easy to feel when our partner is the clingy one, it’s less evident to us when we’re being clingy towards them. If you’re in a new relationship, it’s essential to watch for signs that you might exhibit clingy behavior that can cause problems. Here’s what to look for.

Panicking if you cant quickly get in touch with your partner. While it’s natural to want to speak with our partners often and to worry about them, it’s not natural to worry about them after only a few hours of being out of contact. If you find yourself feeling panicked when you can’t get ahold of your partner immediately, that’s a warning sign of clingy behavior.

Wanting to go everywhere and do everything with your partner…and trying to. Sure, we all love spending time with our partners and want to maximize that time as much as possible, but there is a line between enjoying our partner and clinging to them. If you make excuses to join them on every occasion and even canceling your own plans to instead spend time with them, you might be too clingy in your new relationship.

Lack of trust. If you think your partner is doing something malicious when you have no evidence otherwise, you might be too clingy. Clinginess ultimately comes from insecurity — it’s a fear that your partner will leave and you won’t be able to survive that abandonment, hence the clinging. This is why clingy behavior often goes hand in hand with mistrust; if you’re in desperate fear of being left by your partner, you’ll feel a compulsion to always be on the lookout for that fear, meaning you’re always analyzing situations to see how they could be a threat.

Instead of interpreting your partner being out of contact for longer than usual as a sign that they’re swamped or have gotten sick, you understand the situation from the perspective of someone fearing abandonment, meaning it becomes the sign you’ve been searching for that your fear is coming true.

Clinginess in a new relationship can be a poisonous thing, as it makes your partner feel pressured to constantly reassure you. Watch out for these signs of clinginess so it doesn’t get out of hand and cause irreparable harm.