Sometimes we just want to be someone different. We used to play dress up as kids and pretended to be other people with our friends. But as we get older, that desire to play dress-up takes another form: roleplay. Roleplay can be intimidating because you might not know where to start. How do you initiate it? Who do you pretend to be? What are the rules of roleplay?

Roleplay can be a great way to change things up in the bedroom. Sex can get boring- it’s hard to admit, but it’s the truth. And sometimes all you need to do to reignite the spark is to try something new. And roleplay is just that. So if you’re thinking of playing sexy dress up anytime soon, here is the 411 on how to do roleplay:

Think about what you like

Maybe you’ve always had a fantasy about being a patient, and your partner is the doctor. Or perhaps you still have a little bit of a crush on that one professor you had in college. The possibilities are endless when it comes to roleplay, so the first thing you have to do is think about what exactly you want to do. Some popular ideas are masseuse and client, model and photographer, and coach and athlete. Who do you want to pretend to be?

Make the first move

So you decided you want to take things into your own hands and make the first move about initiating roleplay. How do you do it? Making the first move about trying something new in bed can be intimidating, but there are a few subtle ways you can go about it. Bring it up naturally in a conversation or start talking about a dream you had and go from there. Want to do doctor and patient roleplay? Try bringing it up in a conversation about being sick and having to go to the doctors. It might be scary at first, but once you get it off your chest, you’ll be glad you said something.

Talk about it

Roleplay might be something you’re interested in doing, but your partner can feel differently. That’s why It’s important to talk about roleplay before actually diving into it. You want to make sure you and your partner are on the same page before whipping out a ruler one night and putting it to use.

Start slow

You might be tempted to go all out with costumes and props the first time you do roleplay, but it’s probably best to start slow. You might end up loving it- or you might end up hating it, so don’t run the risk of things being awkward by showing up in a full school girl outfit. Your first time doing roleplay can be done with just words and actions, and you can save the actual dressing up for another time.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries when it comes to sex is essential whenever you try something new. Whenever you or your partner are thinking of trying something different in bed, you have to set the limits on how far you can go. If you don’t set boundaries, you run the risk of things getting too intense and ruining the whole experience (or your relationship), and it not being fun at all. So before you jump into bed like a schoolgirl, talk about just how far you think you can go.

Have fun with it

The first time you do roleplay might be awkward. You might feel shy or nervous about pretending to be someone else and have no clue what to say or do, but it’s essential to have fun with it. Roleplay doesn’t have to be a big, serious thing- it should just be about trying something new and playing out your fantasies in a fun and safe way with your partner! Take a deep breath, remind yourself it’s not that serious, and have fun with it!