We all know how messy relationships can be, and in our modern times, when so many old traditions have been left behind, we have to navigate relationships in a different way. While it’s great to date multiple people in the beginning when you’re looking for chemistry and playing the field, what happens when you spend more time with one person but aren’t sure if you should stop dating other people yet? It’s never a clear, black-and-white situation, but there are some guidelines to consider that can help you know what the right answer is for you.
Test 1: How’s it going?
The first question to ask yourself when thinking about whether it’s time to stop dating multiple people and focus on a single person is simple — how’s it going? Sure, you have options, but if you’re consistently having a great time with one person and always enjoy their company and look forward to seeing them, it might be time to focus on what’s clearly a good thing.
Holding onto the ability to have “options” moves into the risky territory of wanting everything and having nothing. If you’ve been on at least six dates and everything’s going great, you might have already found what you were initially searching for while dating other people.
Test 2: Role reversal
A great way to answer your own question is by putting yourself in the opposite position — how would you feel about the person in question if they continued to date other people? If you’d prefer this person to focus on you and not see other people, you’ve answered your own question — it’s probably time for you to stop dating multiple people and focus on one relationship too.
Test 3: F(riend)BI
The last test is helpful but comes last because it shouldn’t take precedence over how you feel and how you think the person you’re considering being exclusive with feels. Yet, the Friend Test is a useful barometer for how things are going with any new relationship.
Assuming your friends have a good amount of information about this person, ask them what they think about you retiring from the game to focus solely on dating this person. Your friends will always be more objective than you are with matters of the heart, simply because emotion clouds our vision. Run the friend test to see if you might stick to dating multiple people because you’re apprehensive or if it’s genuinely too soon to settle down.