Or they have them very, very rarely. Difficulty or an inability to climax is a complex issue for millions of women, encompassing physical, psychological and emotional aspects, often compounded by years of frustration and anxiety—not to mention the dramatic standards created in movies and porn. For many, the first step toward the Big O is realizing that it’s not always so big. In fact, many women have had them and not known it. From there it can take real work to open up to the experience, literally and figuratively.