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Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow is concerned with your sex life. Yesterday she was recommending something called sex bark as an aphrodiasiac, and now she hawks a good ol’ Mugworth V-Steam on her blog GOOP:

“You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugworth steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.”

You have to do it. (If you’re in LA.)

“You can imagine people do it in the forest somewhere,” writer Lanee Neil told the LA Times. (A forest near LA, that is.) Its own qualification indeed, but according to doctors tracked down by People, shooting hot water vapor up your vagina is questionable. According to OB/GYN Dr. Jen Gunter, “Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT.” As Dr. Gunter wrote on her blog, “The vagina (and uterus and vulva for that matter) should be viewed as self-cleaning ovens.” As with other modern practices derived from ancient traditions, there have been no official studies on the benefits. 

Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz of Beverly Hills Medical Group also told the LA Times that the idea of a v-steam is “not insane.” Dr. David L. Finke, a Los Angeles-based OB/GYN told People, “I don’t think it’s completely crazy to say [the steam] could be beneficial.” Not insane. Not crazy. Not quite the five-star review you want in a vaginal procedure.

“Depending on how the steam is applied, the benefits could be similar to a regular steam room,” continued Dr. Finke, world’s biggest GOOP fan. Look for Dr. Finke in a steam room near you, LA readers. And keep your legs closed while you’re in there.

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 Gwyneth Paltrow Recommends “Sex Bark” as an Aphrodisiac