There comes a time in all of our relationships when we can feel that things might get a little monotonous. It’s easy to slip into a sense of being so comfortable with our partners we lose that edge, the spark that makes us feel a little twist in our stomach when we think of them. That feeling of love, the spark, is all about how you imagine your partner and how you treat your relationship. All relationships require effort, so to maintain that spark, you must maintain a certain level of effort. What does that effort look like, though? We’ve got five relationship tips that will tell you exactly how to keep the spark in your love.

  1. Dont neglect date night:it’s easy to let our relationship go on autopilot while we attend to the many other demanding aspects of our lives, but this is a recipe for trouble later on. Date nights are one way to keep putting effort into a relationship and make sure you still get the enjoyment out of having a date. Being in a couple doesn’t mean you have to miss out on courtship, after all. Set date nights so you can still enjoy the ritual of getting dressed up and going out together. It’s an excellent way to make sure your partner still sees you as that coveted mate they wrested away from other suitors back in the beginning.
  2. To feel new, do new:Doing new things together is the quickest way to build up a bond. Sharing a novel experience with someone you love is a great way to make happy memories while also triggering your brain to see your partner in a new way as they do something new with you. Try out a new hobby or take a trip to a new place to add some fresh life into the comfortable predictability of your relationship.
  3. Go solo:It might seem counter-productive, but as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s only when we have time to miss someone that we begin to realize how much we love them. It’s easy to take for granted what’s always available to us, so find an excuse to spend some time apart — like a girl’s trip with phones off for the weekend — and feel the spark reignite upon your return.
  4. The element of surprise: Our next relationship tip is another way to disrupt the predictability of long-term relationships that can cause that vital spark to fade. Do something a little unexpected to surprise your partner — whether showing up at their job with lunch or going M.I.A. for a few hours only to show up with a surprise gift. Keeping your partner on their toes helps them to remember that even though they’ve spent so much time with you, there are still parts of you that will surprise them.
  5. Go to couples therapy: There’s no reason that couple’s therapy should only be for those who’ve already encountered trouble. If your relationship is comfortable enough and secure enough for this relationship tip, consider embarking on couple’s therapy to learn more deeply about your relationship. Just like healthy people go to individual therapy to find the best ways to grow throughout life, a couple’s therapy can be a path to strengthening an already healthy relationship.