Drifting apart doesn’t just happen. Inadvertent behavior can build a wall between you and the man you married, and you may not even recognize it until you feel a widening emotional distance. You may be partially responsible, but you can down those communication barriers and get close again. Here are some red flags on behavior that can warn about impending emotional detachment.
Keep Up The Criticism.
If you really want to put some distance between you and your partner, bash him every chance you get. A constant barrage of criticism, even if subtle, can do serious damage to his self-esteem, and he’ll withdraw. Choose your battles, and follow up every negative critique with five sweet comments.
You Never Say Yes To Sex.
He’ll stop trying to seduce you if you turn him down regularly. Maybe you are just tired. Maybe you are stressed by job and kids. Maybe you’re not deliberately trying to push him away. But the message he will get is that you don’t find him sexually attractive any more.
You Don’t Put Down The Phone
Don’t make the man beg for your attention. Staying on Instagram constantly will make him feel ignored. When he tries to start a conservation, put down the phone. Research says responding to his bid for attention 86 percent of the time kept couples married. Cutting the response average down to 36 percent of the time was an invitation to divorce.
Let Stress Wreck Your Relationship.
Pressure at work is hard to leave at the office. A child having a difficult time at school can be worrisome. Too many demands and too little resources can make you focus on yourself to the exclusion of your partner. Look for ways to bring your stress levels down before you damage your relationship. Check out the gym or delve into meditation.
Correct Him As If He Were A Child
Save your mommy voice for your children. If you catch yourself talking to your husband as you would speak to your four-year-old, stop. You will only be sending a message of contempt, and he will respond with resentment. When you have a problem with your husband, talk to him like an adult.
Disengage While The Children Are Young.
Keep the communication strong during the hectic years of raising children. Don’t assume you can rebuild connection when the children are older and leave home. Once the house is empty and your attention is not focused on the kids, you may realize that you and your husband have moved in different directions.
A two-minute rule can open up avenues to closer communication with your husband. Think about the things you appreciate about him for two minutes at the start of the day. Make the first two minutes you see him at the end of the day a criticism-free zone.
Read More: Am I Emotionally Detached?