Getting back with an ex is a complicated process. You probably broke up for good reasons, so if you’re thinking of getting back together, it has to be for good reasons, too. Nothing is worse than going through the pain and heartbreak of a relationship, getting back together, and then remembering all the reasons you broke up. If you’re contemplating if getting back together with your ex is a good idea or not, ask yourself these questions first:

Why did we break up?

Most likely, there are a lot of reasons that factored into your breakup. But focus on the big picture and on critical reasons. If they are reasons you feel you have moved past or can work through, getting back together might be a good idea. If not, it’s probably best to spend more time apart.

Am I just lonely?

Do you want to get back together with your ex… or are you just lonely? If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, being single can be tough, and it’s easy to feel lonely. Think about your situation and ask yourself if you miss your ex or if you just miss being in a relationship.

Am I living in the past?

Post-breakup, it’s easy to live in the relationship’s past and forget about all the things that went wrong. So, before you jump back into the relationship, think if you really miss your ex and being with them, or if you’re just stuck in the past.

Have things changed?

A second chance at a relationship will not work out unless things change. It’s essential to think about all the reasons you broke up and if you and your ex have put effort into making a change. This is an important question to ask yourself and to discuss with your ex.

What do I want now?

Do you want a more serious relationship? Do you want your relationship to be more fun? Odds are if you broke up once, there’s something different you want from the relationship now. Things change when you break up with someone, and it’s crucial to think about what is different for you now.