If you actually keep up with the Kardashians (even if you don’t want to admit it) you had the pleasure of watching Kim have her uterus cleaned recently. That may actually seem like the most drastic measure she and Kanye West are taking to try and get pregnant again, but there’s actually a whole boatful of craziness going into their great baby-making efforts.
The Guardian reports that the West’s have employed a “brigade of baby experts” to help give little North a sibling, including a Chinese herbal doctor, a cupping therapist, a personal trainer specializing in “conception-boosting exercises,” and a “live-in fertility chef.”
OK, this insane lineup begs a few questions. I’ll give them the herbal doctor and cupping therapist (alternative medicine‘s worth a shot). But what are conception-boosting exercises, and how can I avoid them at all costs in my fitness routine? And what gives a chef the right to change his title from plain old chef to fertility chef? Because right now I’m picturing someone with a spell book concocting weird witch’s brews and encouraging Kim to sip them like green juice.
Some quick research shows me that fertility-boosting yoga poses exist, so, noted. Now let’s get to the fertility chef. The Guardian explains:
The [fertility chef] ensures Kardashian’s diet is “packed full of fertility-boosting ingredients”. “Her chef says her body needs omega-3 fatty acids for maximum fertility, so she’ll be eating lots of mackerel, grilled tomatoes and poached eggs, for vitamin D. He has also recommended banana smoothies, because B6 is said to help egg production.”
Sounds just like a chef that cooks healthy, nutrient-dense meals, but what do I know?
With all these factors, it sounds maybe Kim could be the next Octomom, creating the most epic reality show E! or TLC could air. Which makes me believe Kris is the mastermind behind this whole pregnancy brigade ordeal. It all makes sense now.